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19th November 2008

rabid_bunnys8:08pm: Follow Me - I Know The Way

I have been silent for awhile.  Now I’m back, and am bringing with me a whole new blog.  If you ever found anything I’ve written in the past even mildly interesting, then I would be happy to have you follow me to the new blog:


I hope you make the trip.

This is the only time I will post on LJ again, and obviously the last time I x-post anything.  The new blog will be daily as much as possible, so I'd love to see all of you regularly.
Current Mood: busy

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12th September 2008

rabid_bunnys11:11am: The Daves of Summer
Ok - here it is, the last update from the "Summer of Dave" series. Now i can get back to my normal posts, and i will try my hardest to post more often. Any suggestions?

Current Mood: blah

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27th August 2008

rabid_bunnys10:31am: The Summer of Dave, Part 2
Sorry it took so long, but at long last there is now a second part to the recap of this summer's craziness. There is more to come, but I continue to break things up so none of you is bored into a catatonic state.


Also, if any of you remembers when I talked about a project idea about rewriting the Bible in its entirety (in my own particularly irrevrant way) I am still considering that idea, and am ready to start posting entries by Friday. It will probably be a post a day for that project, and I will put it on a different blog dedicated to the project. So, if anyone has any questions or comments let me know. I'd love to hear what you all think.

Current Mood: nauseated

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23rd August 2008

rabid_bunnys8:56am: The Summer of Dave, Part 1
I have started to do a recap of the last four months' events. I decided to break up the text into several posts so that none of you loses focus or consciousness from reading a long ass entry. I know how you people are ;)

Current Mood: creative

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16th August 2008

rabid_bunnys10:50am: The Return Of The Bunny!
I am back!!!

I posted a brief and sort of disjointed entry on my other blog just a few minutes ago. I'm finally in a place and time where I can return to blogging and writing regularly. I hope that all my veteran readers are willing to come back to my wonderland of words and stupid observations, but if not, bite me :)


Let me know if you want to see me write more literary stuff like stories and poems again, or if you would rather me fill you in on the last four months.
Current Mood: artistic

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5th April 2008

rabid_bunnys11:14pm: This is a MUST READ!!!
My fiancee and I just experienced a degrading, humiliating, and probably unlarful incident at a local eatery, called Flames Coffee Shop. I wrote about it here, and hope that all who read it will spread the word of what type of service Flames has to offer:


If anyone has any input about this, or any ideas of how I can make sure Flames learns that this treatment is unacceptable, please comment on my WordPress account, or here on LiveJournal. Thank you for reading.
Current Mood: infuriated

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4th April 2008

rabid_bunnys10:24am: The Dragon Emerges
Not Exactly RelevantCollapse )
Current Mood: blank

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21st March 2008

rabid_bunnys11:51am: Detours
Don't forget, you few loyal readers of my blog, that the new one is wanderinghome.wordpress.com

I am posting rather regularly again, and it is most often gfoing to be on there. I hope to see you there!
Current Mood: awake

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13th March 2008

rabid_bunnys12:59pm: I really want to walk around the world. I think I would do it to raise awareness about the fact that the entire world is spiralling down and away from being a wonderful, united, benevolent and familial little blue/green planet.

I haven't spent much time thinking of a more eloquent way of saying that, or figuring out any of the necessary logistics of a trip so enormous, but I really want to do it. I'm thinking it might be smart to write out some flowery essay, then take it to radio stations, newspapers, or even a tv station - and try to get them to support this endeavor.

I am totally crazy for even considering this, but I have been getting steadily more dissatisfied and sad about the many many many bad things that just keep increasing in our world, and the many many many people who just don't care anymore.

I've always ran away when things made me sad and frustrated. I would just take off and walk all over the country. So, I think this is a similar desire, but my frustration and sadness is so much greater that my running away should be just as major.

I don't know. Just really upset and need to do something about it.
Current Mood: depressed

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12th November 2007

rabid_bunnys2:57pm: Feeding the Flame
cold and dark lays the womb
of this shattered brutal night
leaving chilled the heart of god

cherubs sing and dance about
their child minds spin so free
unaware of cicles in their blood

watching on from afar
monster makes snows fall
deeper the drifts furrow up
burying god's little ones below
songs scrape and claw to be heard
then go silently frozen into the air

an enraged thunder pounds the world
with its arrows piercing my cabin
god stokes embers of that home
and coaxes them into a blaze
burning brightly they yawn
and stretch to the sky

trees ripped from a sleeping earth
are given to that hungry flame
who drives back the flurry

his final effort to slay the beast
god reaches to take me by hand
and toss me on the fire
Current Mood: frustrated

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10th October 2007

rabid_bunnys10:34am: A Beginning To A Story I Haven't Titled Yet
Clouds that settled in a few days ago, kept the air cool in the morning. Sameen had just risen from his mat to stretch and look after Grandfather, who was very sick. Father was already up and gone, likely gathering wood or cardboard or any other thing that could burn.

Sameen, after giving Grandfather some more water and a scrap of bread, shuffled about in the dirt looking for his shoes and schoolbook.

"What you doing mannugh?" Grandfather had rolled onto his side to watch the small boy turning over pieces of the rubble, searching wildly.
MoreCollapse )
Current Mood: mellow

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4th October 2007

rabid_bunnys10:29am: In this world, you get seventy or eighty if you're lucky, and if you're unlucky... well, let's just say fate smiles on some while spitting on others. Besides, maybe the long-livers are the unlucky ones. I mean, look around you, and not even too far, you'll see pain and misery and hopelessness, and we’re the ones responsible for our own hardships. Our marathon to find new technology, more happiness, greater shinier things just takes us further from where we should be as a species.

Every problem we face today as a nation, and even as a civilization, has an outstretched arm clinging to a wad of cash. It isn't always a direct connection, but somewhere, somehow, money has had a role. Either money causes a problem, or lack of it creates another one, so we put money into finding a solution, and the circle just spins faster.

Here, in our own country, there are nine MILLION people who have experienced homelessness at some point within the past five years. Those who do have homes can barely pay their mortgage, so they work more. They have less free time, and spend that time vegging in front of the tv as the kids run wild and unsupervised. In worse situations, the tv is replaced with a bottle, and lack of attention turns to abuse.

Even with the folks who have bursting wallets, indoor pools, and personal assistants, there is a heavy price to pay. Money comes with a formidable book of social rules and impossible expectations that so often suck the soul from many a jetsetter.

In the year 2000 alone, there were just under seven MILLION Americans who were millionaires. That number increases, an estimated 2740 new millionaires every day. Today, a million dollars isn't what it used to be, but it still is enough to birth a multitude of dilemmas that lead to a loss in humanity. Money isn't a bad thing, but it is like a gun, people kill with and for it.

What's still more distressing is that money, as invasively woven into the world as it is, isn't the only building block in the foundation of modern society's problems. The next big problem maker is society itself. We have built Frankenstein's monster in our global rush to "make the world a better place."

The lightning brought the monster to life in 1773, when the Industrial Revolution burst forth from the womb of Great Britain. Immediately, industry started to hurt all those who it supposedly helped. In an effort to cut payrolls, these new 'factories' used child labor. A 6 year old boy would work 14 hour days for very little money, and the risk of poisoning from fumes and injury from large complex machines.

The monster sailed to the New World soon after, when Samuel Slater, a British engineering apprentice in search of a reward, fled to the soon-to-be United States. Fled is the word used for this, because all English factory workers were forbidden to leave the country because England wanted to keep their new technology a secret. So, America offered a mighty reward for anyone who could escape the U.K. and bring the factory to the colonies. Enter Slater.

Twenty years after the first factory in England, a Yale graduate invented an engine to separate seeds from cotton. Eli Whitney's 'cotton gin' revitalized the slumping Southern U.S. economy and in so doing, slavery was brought back from the brink of death and given an exponential explosion of production and ruthlessness.

Many more fathers of American industry followed in the 1800s, like Robert Fulton and his steam engine, John Deere's agricultural advancements, and Charles Goodyear's vulcanization of rubber. All of these built the load bearing walls of today's world - for better or worse.

The biggest non-monetary father of hardship today is the car. The automobile is at the center of the swirling hurricane of shit that is modern living. It's birthplace and day are disputed greatly, but the oldest ancestor was a steam powered vehicle invented in 1672 by Ferdinand Verbiest. After him, frenchman Nicolas Cugnot in 1769, de Rochas, in 1862 and finally the German, Carl Benz in 1885, gave their own renditions and improvements on the idea of a self-propelled personal conveyance that was actually first dreamnt of by Leonardo da Vinci in the late 15th century.

When Ford started mass-producing the automobile in 1912, the last nail in humanity's coffin was hammered true and flush. Our entire existence in modern civilization is enslaved by the car. As a teen, you are of no social value unless you have a car, so you give up on free time and study time to work, because work means money to pay for a car.

Then you buy the car, and make friends, maybe a girlfriend, and drive even more. You go to restaurants, movies, record stores, and you spend money - so you need more money. You work more to get the money. You go to college to get a higher paying job so you can afford a better car to impress better girls with. You get married and have kids, so you need a minivan, but don't want to get rid of the sports car or luxury sedan, so you work even more to pay for a better house with a bigger garage for all your cars. The kids get older and the cycle renews itself.

With cars, you can live further away from your place of work. Poor people who don't have cars are relegated to the inner city so they can walk or bus to work. All these poor people make the rich people nervous, so they migrate to the suburbs or country. Suburbs get so populated they become their own cities, and THIS cycle starts again too.

So, all of this that I've mentioned so far is primarily addressing our own nation. All over the world, full of about 195 countries, we see a list, volumes long, of problems and issues that make life anywhere on this spinning rock a tortured and empty existence.

Starvation in resource rich African countries is mind boggling. Perpetual civil wars in the Middle East take place on soil bubbling with oil which feeds our cars, and economy itself. Terrorism, from any number of violent ideological reasons, is rampant all over the face of the earth. And many more bad things...

What is life today? What are we living for? With that seventy or eighty we get, what are we doing with it, and why?

We are animals, cursed with an intelligence that forever reaches beyond its own grasp. But why? Every new reach, in time, yields results that cause further suffering, division, and anguish.

We scramble like ants, to work, to stores, to factories, to hospitals, to schools, and to our own graves. We spend billions of dollars on medical breakthroughs so people can live longer, survive disease and injury, and continue to be dutiful cogs in the speeding wheel of 'progress.' We're not humans anymore, not even animals, we are consumers - we have no purpose but to buy things.

I think all of these jobs, cars, factories, schools, stores; all of it is a pathetic attempt to justify our own existence. Honestly, I don't even know why we need to invent, discover, or advance. It all just makes more problems. One problem arises, we find a solution, which brings with it two more problems, and off we go burying ourselves with the next bigger and better shovel.

I don’t want any part in this anymore. I complain and carry these burdens daily yet, like everyone else, I do nothing about it. One man can’t change anything anymore, not for the good anyways. In fact, I believe it is no longer possible for us to stop the speeding train to hell that we’re all passengers on. No amount of do-gooders can change this world – it is truly hopeless.

I don’t want to die, though, I am an animal like all other people out there, and I have a survival instinct. I want to live – and this society we are in today is not living. I desperately want to quit this nonsense and go back to the wild from whence we came. I want to stop lying to myself, trying to make myself believe that there is something good and honorable about being a responsible contributing member of society. It a lie, it’s all a big illusion we force ourselves to accept so we don’t pay attention to the fact that nothing means anything, nothing has any value, and simply existing for the seventy or eighty is the only good and noble thing.

The struggle for more, that central nature of modern life is not living or existing, it’s lying, it’s deliberate ignorance, it’s why everything in the world is so horrible. We don’t need more. We need food, water, clothing and shelter – that’s it. Beyond that, it’s all pain and suffering.

God, I hate everything and everyone, even myself and what we’ve all become. It all makes me sick.

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15th January 2007

rabid_bunnys2:43am: A Thru-hike of Necessity
I just joined this community about ten seconds ago...

I'm Dave, a 28 year old Midwestern boy, now living in California. I'm a former wilderness survival instructor, and avid outdoorsman. I also am a man born with a condition called VATER Syndrome.

Without going into too much gory and/or overpersonal information, I will just say that this is an extremely rare, and highly life threatening set of serious birth defects. It is so serious that a third of all babies born with VATERS die as newborns.

In fact, I have a hard time finding medical texts that can give information on the status of VATERS patients my age, simply because anyone my age or older with VATERS is dead.

Anyways, I'll smack myself into getting to the point... that's better.

I hiked part of the AT when I was working with a wilderness camp for juvenile offenders in New Jersey, back in 1997. I fell in love with the trail, and began to read about its history and this magical thing known as "thru-hiking." I was 19.

I am now about to turn 29 in two months, and have yet to do the Springer to Katahdin path. I have to do it soon. I've always wanted to do the hike before I was 30, but that isn't going to happen. I am going to do it as a 30 year old, however. For, it is now or never.

My body is falling apart. The heart condition I was born with is getting wors. My liver is going to fail within the next 5 years or so. Last but not least, my vision is rapidly going to hell, and will likely leave me virtually blind within 3-5 years.

So, the time is short to do this adventure. I'm planning for my long awaited thru-hike in 2008. I'm also considering making it some sort of fundraiser to gather money for VATERS research.

I need any advice on thru-hiking, any insights, input, in-dpeth analyses, as well as anything that would help me figure out how to make it all into a fundraising hike. I've never been one for causes, and spent most of my life bitterly resenting anyone who used their own personal issues to draw attention to themselves or anything as loathsome as disabilities.

Now, I'm eating my words, and a huge slice of humble pie. I'm also asking for any help - which is something I NEVER do.

So, anyone got anything to say?
Current Mood: awake

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31st July 2006

rabid_bunnys11:32am: Could use some input
I humbly ask for assistance.

I was just offered a spot on a major internet sports magazine. I was told I can write about anything I choose, so long as it pertains to sport. I am excited about the opportunity, but am at a loss for a topic. I'm sure one will come to me in time, but I figured I'd utilize this awesome and virtually limitless resource of the internet to help in my topic selection.

I would greatly appreciate the ideas of any and all of you. What is something you'd like to read about in the realm of sports? What is something you'd like to learn more about?

I am personally interested in the human drama aspect of sports, so if any of you have any ideas, or know anyone with a wonderful story that should be told, let me know. Thanks so much!
Current Mood: cheerful

(2 poems | move the magnets)

8th February 2006

rabid_bunnys1:52pm: Almost 2,000 years ago, a magnificent and powerful empire began its decay, and subsequent demise. After the death of Marcus Aurelius, his son assumed control of the empire. Over the next 13 years, civil war and a declining imperial power started an erosion of the greatest empire in history.

In 193 A.D. Septimius Serverus, a Roman military general, became emperor and witnessed the sliding of a once world dominating culture into oblivion. Over the following 90 years, Rome saw countless emperors assassinated by opponents, as well as revolting Roman citizens. That period of time also saw Germans invade, and force the empire to yield territory. The pivotal moment in the slow death of history's greatest nation was in 285 A.D. when Emperor Diocletian actually moved the capitol city to Byzantium, which is in modern day Turkey as Istanbul.

This retreating, and its cowardice signaled to all of mankind that Rome was a weak and dying old man who refused to struggle for life, but would rather slink away into the night clinging like a child to one last cookie. The killer blow was 20 years later when Constantine became the first Christian emperor, bringing with him his weak morality and supposed doctrine.

Rome fell, not with honor, but as a cowardly victim succumbing to any who saw fit to attack. It all happened because of weakness in the highest levels, caused by discord and liberalistic anti-imperial beliefs throughout the citizenry. The ancient version of liberals today, ate away at the vitals of Rome like a cancer, rendering it too weak and feeble to stand and fight.

America is blindly plodding down the same path.

On September 11th, back in 2001, our country was rocked by the single greatest act of terrorism in human history. Radical factions of Islam committed a blatant act of war on the United States when their followers carried out orders to crash commercial airlines into the World Trade Center, as well as the Pentagon in the nation's capital.

There were four planes involved in the plot; three of them successfully fulfilled their hijackers' intentions. The fourth, the oft mentioned Flight 93, became a mark in history were 41 people showed the world what is at the heart of America.

"Let's roll," was the battle cry when several passengers refused to go softly into that goodnight. They stood up against certain death, looked it in the eye, and did not blink. They stood not for their survival, for it was certain they would all die regardless of the outcome. What they were fighting for, instead of themselves, was directly the lives of others they would never know. Indirectly, these Americans were fighting for their country.

All of one accord, much as early America was, they succeeded in thwarting the tyrannical plans of the terrorists who'd commandeered the airliner. There was no disputing, no petty bickering about the best way to handle this horrific situation. None of them stopped to take a show of hands to see if everyone felt okay with what was to take place - they knew the course of history for many people, if not a nation, was on their shoulders. So they acted, knowing death was to be the consequence, but regarding honor and country as more paramount to comfort and softhearted acceptance and tolerance of a different thinking people's choice to inflict damage for their God.

Yes, America was founded on principles of freedom to believe in whatever one chooses, and the collection of certain inalienable rights of all people. It was also founded on the principle that it is worth fighting to the death for said freedoms and rights. Those gallant and noble passengers of 93 showed us the steely eyed resolve of our forefathers. If only our entire nation had the same iron countenance.

Today, the nation is being rotted away from within by weakness. Liberalism and overtolerance have rendered the pillars of our country, the weight bearing walls of democracy, ineffective and impotent. Not since World War II has this nation been steadfast in any belief in its own sovereignty. It is the obligation and privilege of the strong, to champion the weak - and police humanity so that villains cannot achieve a firm grasp on society. We were strong, but have slowly handed away our strength so that feelings weren't hurt, enemies weren't made and everyone could share in the misery of mediocrity, equally.

There are countless issues that this country has faced, and handled with debilitating liberal weakness. None, however, has been such a glaring advertisement for the profound cowardice of modern American culture as the handling of this “War on Terror.”

The instant it was confirmed that the Taliban was responsible for 9/11, America should have launched a blindingly furious rampage on their home country. If there was ever a time that warranted the use of large-scale nuclear weaponry, it was this.

We were once the defining nation of the world, and had the responsibility to oversee it all, ensuring that no one could ever terrorize a people as we were. By failing to live up to our status and position as the world's greatest voice for freedom, we led the opponents of such beliefs straight to our own homes.

I say it is time for us to be of one accord, as the passengers of 93 were. It is time for this "Republic" to become an Empire. It is time for the greasy smiling, limp handed liberal faction of this country to be slapped down from their thrones high atop the media, the core of the nation's educational structure, and the government itself. It is time for courage, honor, and strength to take its rightful place as the ruler of the greatest nation on earth - before that nation dies, as Rome did.

* * * * * *
For this country to be victorious and return itself to its long lost luster and glory, many things need to be addressed without hesitation or question:

I – This nation must wage all-out war against any faction that stands opposed to our way of life. The horns of freedom must blow loud and true in the roars of jet engines, the shaking of the earth by our many soldiers invading the homes of the infidels, and the sweeping silence left behind when we have vanquished all our enemies. No one on earth should be able to actively oppose the United States, without the concrete knowledge that they will be annihilated.

II – Invasions of opposing nations are a necessity and are demanded by the universal code of self-preservation. We are animals, only with a greater intellect. Animals live by the laws of survival, and so do we. To survive, we must slash at the throat of any other creature that dares to pose a threat to our pack.

III – Inside our own borders, lay far too many tumors of humanity, spreading their cancer throughout the critically ill country. The gays and lesbians, the mentally infirm, the elderly who are incapable of anything but draining valuable resources and personnel, the homeless persons who have bilked and leeched off the weak hearts of the liberals, and any person who chooses to stand against the revolution should be dealt with in a timely and beneficial fashion.
A. Those who are deemed healthy can choose to be a part of whichever social program they see fit, such as offering up their organs for transplant to those who are of the revolution and in need, participating in genetic testing and manipulation to help further medical research, and permanent labor forces whose duty it is to resurrect this fading nation’s once powerful military infrastructure.
B. Those who are not healthy will be processed into a nutritious feed for cattle and poultry farms to provide a recycling affect so that even these useless people have a benefit to the country.
C. Those who are diseased shall be sent to compounds, where their diseases shall be harvested and employed in the ongoing battles against enemies of the state.

IV – Lastly, a single minded, and carefully selected Leadership needs to be formed, taking power by any means necessary if the existing government is unwilling to evolve for the betterment of the nation. There needs to be one person, a single leader, whose word is law, and whose decisions are absolute. The time for committees, polls, lobbying, and voting is over. We need action, resolve, bravery, vision and dedication to the greatness of this United States of America.
* * * * * *

This country won’t last another 100 years, in the state we are in. Liberal ideals, and overtolerant citizens will usher in the killing blows that will end this nation’s existence at the hands of those we tolerated and assisted in the name of goodness and liberality. Many of our soldiers in Afghanistan were shot by men holding weapons we gave them years ago.

The revolution must be now, we must act now – or we will be read with the history texts of Rome when children of the future are taught of great nations that crumbled from within.

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21st January 2006

rabid_bunnys11:17pm: In need of some help!!!
I am in the process of doing research for a book, and would be very thankful for some assistance from the masses of LJ readers out there. What I need is some input, some ideas, maybe some personal testimonies. Tell me what is cruel.

I want to hear some thoughts on cruel things someone could do to another person, group of people or anything that can be victimized. What is the most cruel and heartless thing someone has done to you, or somebody you know? Have you ever loved someone who was cruel, but you just couldn't help how you felt about them?

Also, tell me what you think makes something or someone cruel. Define for me what you think of when faced with a person who is mean spirited, cold and/or cruel. This is a post asking, neigh, begging for replies.

The more the better, and there is never going to be a reply that I don't appreciate or find something valuable in, so don't be shy.

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8th January 2006

rabid_bunnys5:34pm: Ghost Man on First
When digging holes to China
Behind our house when I was young
I never seemed to go much deeper
Than three feet on each try

When jumping ramps on bikes
In the middle of our quiet street
We always thought we'd fly away
Like that one scene in E.T.

When playing in sprinklers
On the green and plush front lawn
We danced and yelled in delight
Imagining tropical jungles

When running to the jingle
Of ice cream trucks trolling past
Our minds had already been made
I want a fudge bar, please

When standing at the plate
Of make-shift diamonds in a field
Somebody would hit deep to left
And walk the bases as king

Digging holes takes a back seat
To digging the girl in that skirt
Jumping bikes will just have to wait
When my car needs an oil change and wash

Sprinkler dances would have to end
Because laptops don't like to be wet
Who can even think of an ice cream bar
With cholesterol, fat and all the calories

No matter how life changes
That little child inside me
I still love the thoughts of
Having the ghost man on first
Current Mood: calm

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pittydirl5:30pm: These are some haikus that were recently rejected from a literary journal. I'm not hatin' or taking it personally since that's the way the ball bounces when you're a writer. I think they're actually pretty decent. :) Constructive criticisms are welcome. :)

x-posted to my journal

Haikus are da bombCollapse )
Current Mood: creative

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6th January 2006

rabid_bunnys12:16pm: Long Night's Journey
Pushing the needle past ninety-five
Gripping the wheel with white knuckles
Staring down the road into the past

When I was nine, we met on a Sunday night
Grey hair, pale skin, short and thin
Her voice, a whisper of springtime winds
This ancient waif hugged me fiercely
Saying soft in my ear, "Call me Grandma"

This old mother of my new dad
Treated me as if I was her closest kin
She would actually talk with me
Instead of around me as adults often do
A Tiny woman had a giant heart

As years flew by, we tightened our bond
When my world raged, burning so cold
She would be at her door, arms out wide
Giving me a refuge from that tempest
Only she knew was churning inside of me

When I went to college it came
A tumor that hid itself for quite some time
Then it attacked her without mercy
Stealing the small lady's immense presence
She scratched and fought in vain

Leaving the hospital, she was brought home
To the place we had met many years ago
I was far away, wrestling with all my demons
I could not, would not answer the phone
When they called home to give her my goodbye

Fighting through the searing pain
Driving fast through that endless night
Hoping for miracles in the morning

My grandma always loved me from day one with such a pure heart, and the limitless grace that only she had. I was technically a step-grandson, but her heart never heard that. The first time I ever uttered the words, "I love you," was at her bedside the week before she died.
Current Mood: sad

(1 poem | move the magnets)

5th January 2006

rabid_bunnys5:43pm: Looking for God
When I was young, and often cut
By the knives of many surgeons
And people's stares
I knew a boy with whom I shared
A room, at the close of the year

He had been broke and burnt
While I was built and shaped
We both lay in our beds at night
Following the flakes of snow dropping
Trying not to hear the christmas carols
Ignoring the beeps proclaiming we are alive

He would moan loud while he slept
I could not sleep, so it didn't matter
We both called out our prayers for God to come
He was desperately needed there in the flesh
To ease our pained and weakened forms
Or at least to open all the gifts
Our plastered hands could not

He never showed, a new year came
The TVs showed that dropping ball
As nurses took our bodies' vitals
The two of us wondered about our souls
And if God saw how they hurt and ached
Where was He at, and why had He not called
To say keep your chin up, don't lose heart
It'll be okay . . . I promise

I sat up in my bed on New Year's Day
Feeling nothing was good and all was bad
No traces of happiness anywhere in that room
No signs of God in anything we knew here
The lunch trays came with unholy meals
All but the desserts tasted of garbage
And neither of us would clean our plates
Together we jumped to the frozen sweet ending
Sometimes you can find God in a popsicle
Current Mood: contemplative

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4th January 2006

rabid_bunnys1:15pm: Calvin's Stones
Skipping stones on the glassy pond,
The boys and I talked of things.
Late evenings by the water, we had our time -
Our own time apart from the world
Mostly, we spoke of living;
Once we covered death.

Calvin tossed a rock, just to throw.
No skip intended with that one,
As his gaze stayed fixed on the stars.
"Death," he muttered through clenched teeth.
"That shit is why I'm in this place."
Another rock sank into the deep.

Stones flew fast now, as his memories came.
He told of hunting with schoolhouse pals,
And how "I'm sorry, " has no power.
Toy guns in kids' hands are a way of life;
When they're not toys, that's a different case.
Tears flooded his young, old eyes.

" . . . accident," he mouthed with guilt.
Calvin stood in a snowy wood once,
Holding a rifle made for men.
He hadn't meant to shoot his friend.
Sometimes, when we smile at fate,
It doesn't smile back.

After that day, he fell to ruin,
From drugs consumed to ease the pain-
To forget that sound and smell and sight,
Of his bud lying in the pinking snow.
Now, the boy stood by the shore
With not much left to say.

I think of him often still,
Hoping he found a way to live again.
He wanted to die to make things right,
But I tried to help him lay down the weight.
I pray that piece by piece his burdens sank,
With each stone that drowned that night.

Tihs is not a memory that is in chronology with what I've previously posted. It's just a poem I wrote about some one I was thinking about this morning. Forgive the incongruousness with the community's purpose.
Current Mood: moody

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rabid_bunnys1:15pm: Calvin's Stones
Skipping stones on the glassy pond,
The boys and I talked of things.
Late evenings by the water, we had our time -
Our own time apart from the world
Mostly, we spoke of living;
Once we covered death.

Calvin tossed a rock, just to throw.
No skip intended with that one,
As his gaze stayed fixed on the stars.
"Death," he muttered through clenched teeth.
"That shit is why I'm in this place."
Another rock sank into the deep.

Stones flew fast now, as his memories came.
He told of hunting with schoolhouse pals,
And how "I'm sorry, " has no power.
Toy guns in kids' hands are a way of life;
When they're not toys, that's a different case.
Tears flooded his young, old eyes.

" . . . accident," he mouthed with guilt.
Calvin stood in a snowy wood once,
Holding a rifle made for men.
He hadn't meant to shoot his friend.
Sometimes, when we smile at fate,
It doesn't smile back.

After that day, he fell to ruin,
From drugs consumed to ease the pain-
To forget that sound and smell and sight,
Of his bud lying in the pinking snow.
Now, the boy stood by the shore
With not much left to say.

I think of him often still,
Hoping he found a way to live again.
He wanted to die to make things right,
But I tried to help him lay down the weight.
I pray that piece by piece his burdens sank,
With each stone that drowned that night.
Current Mood: moody

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29th December 2005

rabid_bunnys5:25pm: Retribution For Nothing
No, I don't have any
I said I have no spare money
What the fuck you just say
You think you're funny
Laugh at this

God, you make me sick
Asking for coins to buy booze
Teach you to sit and beg
You just lit my fuse
Dirty pig

Stand and do something
Get off your ass you weak fag
Laying there makes it worse
In some body bag
I'll put you

Homeless people suck
You are just a drunk crackhead
There are far too many
Better not be dead
Stay alive

Keep on breathing in
So I can still make you bleed
I don't know the reason
For this carnal need
To bring pain

You're not who I hate
The words on all the pages
In all those fat phone books
That cause these rages
Within me

His blood is still here
With that of all the slain
The many who suffered
Because of my pain
And dark heart
Current Mood: indifferent

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rabid_bunnys12:27pm: Sometimes, I Just Want To . . .

Stomp on people's faces
Burn down churches
Throw puppies into traffic
Smash sand castles
Beat fags with baseball bats
Puree some kittens
Tear some orphans limb from limb


Cut myself deep and see the flow
Drink my own blood
Rip skin and make more scars
Gouge both my eyes
Slice my face off my head
Salt all my wounds
Quietly sigh in ecstasy

Current Mood: melancholy

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